Failure

Everything seemed very fine today.
As planned, my sport spirit is still bright n shine through the weekend.
My plan for today,
badminton, birthday celebration, basketball.

Everything turned bad in a sudden when I received one message from my sister.
A total of 6 message in one.
I felt so guilty, sad, emotionless...
I just cant control myself,
these horrible mood had successfully hidden inside my inner part of me.
Another face of my turned out in order to entertained everyone surrounding me.

As I sweat n sweat n sweat,
and time goes on...
My brain just cant stop thinking bout the message.
"Am I that ego? Am I a failure?"
There, I asked myself again.
Yes, I admit, there's nothing to blame on,
I'm just a true failure...

The principle I'm holding now, that used to be rational n strong.
No longer on the right track,
I'm over, it's out of range.
What consumed me??
Again, I have to say, I a failure to everyone!!!

I tried to make myself tired to the maximum, I sport non-stop.
Until now, lock myself in my room, lying on the bed, escaped from everything.
Music calms me down..

What should I need to do??
Do I need to be an ordinary me, like last time.
Instead of filling my life with 'colours'??